Random Thoughts

As per today, 5 April 2017 – I have been living in Auckland, New Zealand for 1.5 months and it comes to my senses to evaluate, whether this is really what I expected before.

Living abroad, together with pursuing master degree internationally – are two of my bucket list items, which have been sitting there for so long up to the point that I thought that they were not really for me. Until finally in 2015, I found the courage to leave the company where I grew up professionally, whom at this very moment, I really miss for some reasons that I can’t really explain myself. I am not sure if it is because of the dynamic, the pride. the mentorship or the companionship, since when I was there, all I want is being here.

Now I am here and everything is going according to the plan up to this point. I got the full scholarship at the top university in the country that I have been dreaming to live in. I stay in a nice accommodation with the stunning view, the nicest in my whole life even. I meet a lot of new friends and even some potential new best friends. No problem on my study so far, at least I can stay on top of it until today. And I still have time to travel to new and exciting places in between my study schedule. My life seems to go in a right direction at last.

But here I am, thinking, whether it is really what I want?

One of my mentors, a man that I respect in a great deal, told me once that doing this (living and study abroad by myself) would be good for me. He has experienced it himself when he did his research in Swiss – he said during that time, when he was alone in the foreign country, surrounded by beautiful nature when he really took the time to think – what he really wanted to do with his life. What I am experiencing now – was it what he talked about?

It feels weird to think of things like this. I am so accustomed to a life where everything moves so fast and I am just trying to catch up. I have been always very busy or very tired to do anything else. Then here I am, puzzled.

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